- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
- The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk and newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
- Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren’t getting any.
- Don’t aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
- Remember, no one is listening until you fart.
- Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- If you think nobody cares whether you’re dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments
- Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
- If at first you don’t succeed, avoid skydiving.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it. , If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
- Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreens.
- Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
- Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.
- Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much if your lips are moving.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
- When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse
- The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
November 22, 2006
Zen with a difference
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November 1, 2006
The Magic Is Back
Had a brilliant time this evening. First Wednesdays of the month for me are a visit to the South Downs Magicians – a club that I have been a member of since I was 13. This evening marked the welcome return of Robin Carr – one of the members that I found so inspirational when I first joined the club. Robin has been absent from the club for over ten years, so it was really great to catch up and reminisce. Interestingly, I feel much more motivated to perform at the club now.
I’ve uploaded a few photos to the gallery of me when I was 13 of my stage debut. It was a short and simple act consisting of rope to silk, fantastic frame and squared circle with a product of silks, a silk fountain and a teddy bear.
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October 6, 2006
Hypnosis Tutorial
I’ve finally finished the tutorial on Self Hypnosis that I seemed to have been working on for weeks. This one teaches the modern indirect / permissive style of hypnosis – there doesnt seem to be many tutorials on this type of hypnosis on the web, so hopefully this will prove popular.
Feel free to visit here: Self Hypnosis Tutorial
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September 25, 2006
Hectic Evening
I’ve been to Sevenoaks this evening to do some demo recording with two of the members of “The Band With No Name”. I recorded parts for the James Taylor numbers; “Fire and rain”, “How sweet it is” and “You’ve got a friend”. The only slightly bothersome thing was that I had to use an unweighted keyboard without a sustain pedal….. still if it gets gigs, thats the main thing.
Next stop was Kate’s to help out with a singing lesson…. with another unweighted keyboard with no sustain pedal!! This keyboard had minute keys… If it wasnt raining quite as hard I would have brought my Yamaha S90 in to use… Maybe next time
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September 24, 2006
IBM Gala show in Eastbourne
I took Levinia and two friends to Eastbourne to the see the International Brotherhood of Magicians put on their annual gala show yesterday evening, and it was fantastic!
Jeff Hobson compared the show, and did a brilliant job of introducing each act, as well as presenting some excellent magic such as the egg bag and card in mouth as only Jeff can.
In my opinion the first act, which was Paolo Giua, was the weakest in the show in my opinion. I cant quite put my finger on why – it could be that it was because we were seated at an angle and saw many of the steals.
The second act was excellent. Soul Mystique from Australia had a very polished quick change act which incorporated many different styles of dancing. The costume changes defied belief!
Next up was Paul Zerdin, who was the only performer from the UK. His act, although containing no magic, was very entertaining. The dummy singing at the end was very surprising and clever.
The last act of the first half was James Dimmare. This act was pure class, even though the doves were not behaving themselves (stage fright gets to all performers sometimes!). There were some very magical moments in this act.
The second half started off with a very funny act courtesy of Mikael Szanyiel.
The next act was this years FISM winner – Pilou. This was an excellent act that contained juggling, card manipulation, appearing apples and more.
More juggling followed from Wally Eastwood. His juggling was the fastest I have ever seen!! Using clubs, hats and ping pong balls, and ending up juggling the balls on to a giant keyboard playing along to a backing track!!
Lastly, another magician from Las Vegas – Mac King. This was probably my favourite act of the evening. Tears of laughter ran down my face as he burnt money from a member of the audience, pretended to eat a worm and put on his cape of invisibility, amongst other stupid stuff.
All in all, a fantastic way to spend fifteen quid.
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